SPEAKER_01 0:07

Dee Hensley is a soul care consultant, cancer survivor, and author of Better Than Band Aids: An Emotional Healing Journey. She helps her clients to process their pain with God and to find healing through encounters with love. She is married to her high school sweetheart, Brian, with whom she has three adult children and they live in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She wants you to know if God can heal her, he can heal you too.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Welcome to the Pursuing Redemption Podcast with Heather Shore.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Well, Dee, thank you so much for coming on the Pursuing Redemption Podcast. We're super excited to have you today. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here. Well, we'll hop right into it. Tell us about your journey of coming to know Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Okay. So I grew up uh in a Catholic family. Um, I went to Catholic grade school, first grade to tenth grade, and um and I really didn't hear the gospel, the good news, until I was 13. And my family was pretty chaotic. There was a lot of anger in my home. And so my view of God, even though I kind of had that Catholic lens, was very negative. I felt like he was watching me just to count my sins and that I had to earn love. And uh one of my coping strategies was um perfectionism and just performance. So I'm a recovering perfectionist, you know. Hi, welcome. Here I am. And um, you know, I was basically just a really big hot mess. And so through my teen years, it was like the Lord had me on this journey of just forgiveness. We just started there, and I'm so grateful. The church we we went to, the little church, uh, the youth pastor was getting her degree in counseling. And so she started meeting with me weekly and just teaching me how to forgive and how to process my emotions and how to really come to just a better place. And so I thought my childhood was just normal, right? Like fine, like everyone has a normal childhood, but come to realize that it really wasn't fine. There was a lot of trauma and a lot of pain. And so it's you know, just part of this journey of sanctification and transformation that the Lord's had me on for over 45 years.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

So here I am. Here you are. Here I am, yeah. I mean, that's that's a long time to be on a journey with him for sure. Yeah, it definitely is. That's a wonderful journey. Yeah. So we would love to hear a little bit about your health journey and how Jesus helped you overcome stage four thyroid cancer.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Yeah, for sure. Well, it started in August of 2020. They um my endocrinologist had been keeping an eye on my thyroid because I had some nodules, not a big deal. I had fine needle biopsy. They were like uh checking the sides of the nodules, and then all of a sudden, on August the 1st of 2020, um, I found a lump on my collarbone. And um my daughter, who's a nurse, said, Yeah, mom, you probably should get that checked out. So I checked in with my primary care physician. He scheduled me for a scan and for surgery uh to have the lymph node removed. He's like, I'm pretty sure that's a lymph node. So when they remove the lymph node a couple days later, you know, they send it into the lab, the lab re lab reports come back and it's full of thyroid cancer. And so I was so shocked and just disbelief at first, you know, it's just like it's hard to believe because I had really no symptoms. So to think that I had thyroid cancer and it was already in my lymph nodes was really surprising. So we met with uh um the doctors and the radiologists and um came up with a treatment plan. And when um my ENT said, well, the next um opportunity I have opening for surgery to do the thyroidectomy is October 1st. I just got to thinking about that. And I was like, Lord, I do not want to have another operation. And I was laying in bed one morning and I remembered a dream I had the year before, and it was so specific, I had titled it The Order of Operations, because it was like an algebra equation, which I don't, I mean, I dream a lot, and I just have a spiral notebook that I keep my dreams in. And so I went back and looked at that, and it was really specific. The year before I had had several people just kind of weigh in and give me their opinion, and um, there was actually four scenes, and the very first scene was operate, and the second scene was orchestrate and then insulate and communicate. So when I started reading that, I just started crying because I realized, okay, this wasn't about last year, about what I originally thought it was about. This is about the cancer, and God has already got a detailed map and plan of how he's gonna walk me through this. And the insulate scene is literally like I'm wrapped in a Sherpa blanket, which just means the love of God. And I felt like I got ran over by a semi-truck, but there was no pain, right? So, anyway, just all that to say, the Lord was just with me, and I felt his presence so much and so near. It was a very special time. And I asked him, I'm like, Lord, what is the upgrade for this? What is the gift that you have for me walking through this? And he said, Dee, you're gonna learn how to receive love. Because my childhood, I I didn't know if I was loved, I didn't feel wanted, I didn't feel loved. And so um, this was just another step on a journey and just going deeper into the love of God. So he just said, if anyone asks you if they can bring you something or do something for you, the answer is yes. You just receive whatever people bring. So it was just amazing to see all the different people who came because I ended up doing 33 radiation treatments.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

And people would drive me, take me to lunch, just different things like that. And it um being bolted to a table for 14 minutes for 33 times is a lot to process. And the Lord was just really with me. I had a friend who's a counselor just help me walk through that so that I would feel safe and taken care of, and I didn't have to have extra medication just to receive the treatment because you're already doing so much. And my biggest prayer going through radiation is that I wouldn't have to have a feeding tube because they only said I could I couldn't lose more than six pounds because your throat gets so sore and swelling, it feels like you're swallowing knives. And um, so the Lord totally honored that, and I was able to not lose any weight. Even I got COVID at Christmas, right in the middle of radiation, but still it was a gift, Heather, because I got 10 days off and my throat healed enough in those 10 days that I could start eating meat again. And then I had just another 18 to go. And um, and as the Lord had it, um, you know, I found out I found the lump on August the first, then had the first surgery September 1st, second surgery October 1st, and then I did all the radiation and radioactive iodine, and my last treatment, even with the COVID, was February the first, 2021. So it was six months to the day. I mean, just all the details. I was like, Lord, you just cannot make this up. You know, it's not coincidence. I couldn't make this happen. So even though I wouldn't ever want to go through that again, I'm so grateful to the Lord because He held my hand. I got a first class healing through medicine. And I know it doesn't work that way for everyone, but that was what the Lord had for me.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Yeah. Did you meet people along the way that you were like, oh, you were part of the reason that I was supposed to go through this journey? Like doctors and things of that nature. Because I know when my friend went through cancer, like she she led so many people to Jesus through her journey, but she had cancer for 15 years. So it was a really, really long, long time journey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Yes. I mean, my doctors, I mean, the ENT who did my surgery was excellent. He was amazing. And he, I don't think, knew knew the Lord, but at the end, I told him about the dream afterwards, and I just said, God handpicked you to be my surgeon. He was he was just amazing. And he said, Well, he said, I'll take all the help I can get. So I know there were seeds planted along the way, and honestly, since then, I feel like I've been able to share my story with other people who've gone through cancer, some thyroid, other people, you know, a different cancer story that's just been encouraging. And you might check this or have you looked at this? Because when you've been there, you know what people what will bless them and what will help them. But before I had like someone has cancer, like I don't know what they need, you know, or what I can do for them. So I think just even the compassion and the encouragement I received is able and still am able to pass that along to other people.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

That's amazing. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about your journey around inner healing prayer and how that works, because I'm sure that came into play through this whole thing. Can you tell us, you know, what it is, like how to practice it and how Jesus really uses it to touch lives?

SPEAKER_02 10:50

Okay, sure. And really, it started back there in my teen years with forgiving and learning how to forgive, which is just essential. But I didn't know anything about triggers and self-awareness, didn't even know what that was about. But uh just like in 2009, started on this um journey of just figuring out what that was all about, and realized that I just had a lot of lies, even though I had forgiven a lot of things from my childhood, I was believing so many lies about myself. Like I'm not good enough, that um I'm not needed and I'm not wanted. And so kind of the process really is getting to the root of what's causing the fear or the shame. And most of the time it comes from lie-based thinking, where we're believing something about ourselves, and it's not even about the circumstances that are going on right in the moment, it's about what we believed about ourselves in those childhood years. So, like one example from uh one of my earliest um prayer times with my mentor was just um I was really angry. So, you know, a trigger is when you're fine, and then all of a sudden you are so not fine, you're angry, you're upset, and it's disproportionate. And you're even like logically thinking, okay, this shouldn't, I should not be this upset about it. And in my family, we didn't talk about emotions. You just keep everything shut down, and you just stayed busy and you just powered through and just strive. We don't talk about emotions. And I've just come to see that that is so unhealthy because emotions are a gift from God, they're part of the feedback, they're how we feel his love and connect with other people. So, all that to say, this first trigger, I was like, okay, Lord, we're just gonna tackle it together. You and me, I'm really angry, so I'm journaling it out, and I get to the lie. And the lie was that God doesn't pursue me. And so I'm like, okay, Lord, I want to exchange this truth. Yeah, I want to exchange this with you. I'm ready for the truth that sets me free, right? And it was just crickets, nothing, I heard nothing. I'm like, okay, well, let's let me call my mentor and see. So we set up a time to meet, and through that, I realized uh that I it was I didn't believe that God pursued me, I didn't believe that my dad pursued me, and I didn't believe that my husband pursued me. So, like in that hour session, the Lord just like downloaded so much truth, just showing me about my dad and showing me about my husband and showing me about him and how he's pursued me my whole entire life. And I just I just sobbed. I mean, there was just so much relief and peace that flooded into that wound. And when I got back out to my car, I opened my phone and it said one miss call from my dad. My dad had literally just gotten a cell phone, and it was the first time that he had ever called me from his cell phone to my cell phone, and I just sobbed, Heather, because I could see that my dad was pursuing me, but I had these blinders on, right? This belief, this lie that said, My dad doesn't pursue me. So even the times when he had, I didn't feel it. I didn't experience it. And I think that would have happened even if I hadn't have prayed, but I wouldn't have experienced the love. I wouldn't have been able to really receive, right? His pursuit and his love. So, and I asked the Lord afterwards, I'm like, okay, God, why couldn't you just have done that just with me and you journaling three weeks ago when I was trying to process this? And the Lord said, Dee, I'm not willing to put a band-aid on something that needs a surgery. And even the best surgeons in the world do not operate on themselves. I want you to be with other people and experience my healing touch with one another. That's what the body of Christ is all about, is community, right? Having safe people in our lives that we can process with and grow with. So that's one of the first times, and since then, there's been hundreds, it's just become part of my routine. And so, kind of it just organically developed, and I started practicing with my kids and with my friends. And they then they would be like, Hey, Dee, can you pray with so-and-so? And can you talk to them just about how you process emotional plane? It's just so much healthier than you know, coping mechanisms, because they're there are all kinds of things that we do to um try to cope with emotional pain, and a lot of it is subconscious. Sure. That's why self-awareness is so important to know what I am feeling, what's going on, where is this coming from?

SPEAKER_01 16:04

That is so great, Dee. Thank you for explaining that and in a very succinct way. A lot of people don't, and I I just I really appreciate that answer. It was very good. Can you tell us your sort of unique experience of healing and deliverance and how God has worked through that whole process for you?

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Yeah, I think um it started really small, and at the time it didn't seem like much was happening, or that I was changing, or that I was growing. But my family would attest to the fact that I'm not even the same person that I was 20 years ago. And um, I wrote a book about just my stories and um a lot of the triggers that have happened. And um, my husband wrote the foreword and my son edited it. So it's just it's called Better Than Band-Aids from that whole first experience where the Lord said, I'm not putting a band-aid on something that needs a surgery. It's been a theme, and I've needed a lot of surgeries, but um, it's it's been about family and about building relationships, and it's brought so much healing with my parents and um my siblings, um, and even my kids. One of the um stories in the book is um our girls are just uh 18 months apart, and so they were probably, I don't know, 10 and 9 at the time, and happened to sit down and measure each other's feet. You know, they sat um foot to foot, and so the younger one, Martha, her feet were bigger than the older daughter, Hannah. And Hannah just burst into tears. She was so upset. So I just sat on the bed with her and just said, Hannah, what's going on? And she said, I just feel like I'm not special because Martha's feet are better. And I just said, you know, I think that's a lie. And can we ask God about that? And she was like, Okay. And I just super simple, Jesus. Yeah, is it true that Hannah is not special because her feet are smaller than her younger sisters? And she was like, he said, no, he said, I'm special too. And so I just added that and I said, Hannah, you have the feet for your journey, for where God is taking you. And Martha has the right size feet where God is taking her. And it doesn't matter what size, whose is bigger or smaller, you're special and made by God and equipped for your walk and your journey and just what you need. And she was like, Okay, great. Can I go outside and play now? But something that could have really caused a wedge in their relationship and their friendship was totally just abated by the truth. I mean, it was really the truth that set her free. And we still talk about it, you know, it's it's part of her journey and part of her story. And there's been so many other, like bigger ones, you know what I'm saying? Than more just the size of the feet. Another one with my other daughter, Martha, she was 16, 15 at the time because she wasn't driving. And um, she had come home from school, and I was like, okay, Martha, I had the list. I'm like, you need to get your chores done, and we've got extra stuff because we have people coming. And she was like, Hey, can I have a friend stay overnight tonight after youth group? And I was like, no, she's an extrovert. I'm more um an introvert, and I was just like, I was not about it. And I could tell that she was just so deflated. And so after a little while, I went upstairs and I'm like, hey, what's going on? And she's like, you know, mom, I just feel like you're a killjoy. And I was like, wow, I'm like, I'm so sorry. Right? And so she was telling me about her day and what happened. And Hannah had said, we can't go out to Chick-fil-A after youth group because I need to get home to study. So, like, all these things had happened in her world that day that I didn't know about. And so she was just feeling very shut down. And so I, of course, apologized and said, Martha, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to pile things on you. And so then I said, Let's ask the Lord about that. Is that true? And so, super simple, Jesus. Is that true that I'm in Martha's life to kill her joy and to steal her joy? And once again, the Lord is so kind and so faithful. And he's like, No, your mom loves you, she wants the best for you, and she's there for you. So that was really a sweet, healing moment for us because I had ever really viewed it through Martha's eyes, and how much those things energize her and how much she loves it. So, like a couple weeks later, um, I happened to be with one of her friends and invited her friend to spend the night and then surprise Martha. And when I told her, I said, Martha, do you see that? She's like, I get it, mom. And I'm so grateful. So just things like that, where the Lord just brings healing. And this is the thing is that I'm triggered less now than ever before. And they're not like fetal position, like crying my eyes out. It's more of like, oh gosh, something doesn't feel good here. I'm angry or I'm hurt. Why? What's going on? And so the Lord has walked me through so many things. And now, Heather, I can pray sometimes on my own. And I have friends that will process with me and ask me the questions what am I feeling? What's the Lord saying? And so this is a hundred percent something that you can do with someone you feel safe with and who. Is a good listener and wants to pray with you.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Yeah.

unknown 22:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

I think though, to really point out is that people don't realize sometimes how it starts so small, right? Similar to sin. Like a lot of times it starts out so small and we don't even notice it. And then if we don't tackle it, it just grows and it grows into something bigger. Um and I love that just example of sitting down with your kids and being like, all right, what's the lie that you believe? I've had to do that with my own daughter who's 10. Um there's a lot of she's just gone through just a I mean, after we're walking through a divorce of her parents, you know, there's just a lot of wounding there. She feels neglected. And so we have to sit down on the bed sometimes and be like, Why are you so upset? Or is it hormones? Like, what's really going on? You know, yeah. Yeah, it's important to take that time with people.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

Absolutely. Yeah, it is worth the investment. And I think for me, one of my coping strategies was just to blame other people or blame a situation, or blame it's because of this, or I'm not feeling 100%, whatever. And I've come to realize those are excuses. And the Lord wants me to come to him. I have one friend, she knows she's triggered when she's standing in front of the refrigerator and she's not hungry. You know what I mean? Yeah. So we all it's right, it comes in different ways, or we find ourselves shopping or scrolling, or are just you know, zoned out on Netflix or whatever, trying to self-medicate when the Lord is inviting us to come closer. I view triggers now as an invitation from the Lord because he has freedom waiting for me that he wants me to bring through processing and just the intimacy and the connection with him that comes through the whole journey. He wants to bring me healing. He knows everything about my heart. And so he wants to see me as free as possible, right? It's for freedom that he set us free.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Yeah. That's so good. Yeah. Oh my goodness. What lessons did you learn as you journeyed through just because you you've gone through a lot of hardship, right? Your upbringing, all the different things, your cancer journey, and some of the other stories you've you've told me off camera and stuff like that. But what words of hope would you give to someone just to keep going?

SPEAKER_02 24:38

You know, I would say just start where you are, you know, wherever that is, and invite the Lord in and just ask him, you know, Lord, what would you have me do? And then whatever he shows you, just take the next step. Maybe you need counseling. Maybe there's a friend or a mentor that you could process with, or maybe you need to take a class or do some discipleship. I don't know. But just being honest with yourself, and just like David did in the Psalms, where he, you know, his he was very emotional and didn't have any problems just writing it all down. You know, Lord, I'm in fear for my life. I'm rolling and struggling on the bed and I can't sleep, and I have so much anxiety. And I love how he went to the Lord to process his emotional pain. And I think the Lord wants to hear that. He wants us to be honest, he doesn't want us to just put on this Christian ease of I've got it all together and everything is fine. He wants to lead us in the pain. And so I would just say start where you are and do the next right thing. Whatever the Lord shows you, reach out, just take the next step and ask him, you know, what he wants for you.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

So if you could tell someone to chase after Jesus and pursue redemption, what would you say?

SPEAKER_02 26:02

I would say to start with your own heart. The Lord just have me on this journey of learning to love myself. Because the more I love myself, the more I can love others and the more I can receive his love. I mean, it's the whole love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. And through this whole journey, I've come to realize that I didn't like myself. In fact, at 13, I pretty much hated myself, hated my mom. Just hate was this wall that I erected in self-protection, but it didn't work. It was not a good coping strategy. And so I feel like the Lord just brick by brick has has been taking that down over the years and allowing, I'm allowing love to come in so that I can love more and love myself and love and accept other people. That's really what he wants. They'll know that we are Christians by our love, right? Our love for one another, our love for our families, the people that are close to us.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Yeah, for sure. It's just his love is so good. And if we can just give it out to other people, it makes a huge difference.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yeah, and his love cast away fear, right? Perfect love cast out fear. And so that with my cancer story, I didn't ever fall into fear because I was so convinced of God's love and that he had a plan and that he knew me. Now I fall into fear and plenty of other things, but the cancer stuff, I was like, Lord, you've got this. I am gonna be so fine, you know, because you're just with me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Hey, you know what? That's a better place to be than to be in fear. You know, yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, um, if you could, would you be willing to pray over the audience and just or just give a word of needing hope to people?

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Yeah, okay. So, Lord, I just pray for the listeners that you would envelop them with your love. I ask you to show them what is the next step in their journey. You are the great physician and you have a plan for their good. I ask you to reveal by your spirit what they need. What are you highlighting you that you want to speak to and bring healing and freedom? I'm asking for the truth that sets them free to be fully who you've created them to be. You know everything about them, all the struggles, all the pain, and you're always ready to bring comfort and wholeness. Thank you for meeting us right where we are and bringing your kingdom. You restore and redeem the years that the locusts have eaten. We love you so much, Lord, and thank you for this time together. Amen.

unknown 28:58

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Well, thank you for coming on. This was wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Thank you, Heather. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 29:07

Here I am. In the straw. Here I am. Justin to the rhythm. Here I am.