SPEAKER_02 0:07

Jackie Quarles is an inner healing and deliverance counselor with the ability to directly connect to heaven in an amazing way. Her story of miraculous healing and provision will knock your socks off as she details how her and her family walked a crazy seven-year journey.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Welcome to the Pursuing Redemption Podcast with Heather Short.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Well, Jackie, we're so excited to have you today on the Pursuing Redemption Show. Uh, we can't wait to delve in and see what the Lord has to say today. But welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm so thankful and grateful to be here. What an honor.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Well, we're just gonna hop right in and start talking about your story. So, how did you come to know Jesus?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

So I grew up in a family that um loved the Lord, um, lived my life as a pretty on-fire Christian throughout my teens and college years, and um had a few ups and downs, but um I really had a call in my life for the mission field and knew that. And so I just went hard after the Lord. I um wasn't until I hit my 30s that I started realizing that um maybe my foundation had some cracks in it because my uh journey with Jesus was really built on the idea, you know, if you read your Bible and pray every day, you'll just grow, grow, grow. And I got really ingrained in me a level of a performance Christian mentality that God really loved me and spoke to me because I was doing such a great job and living for Him. I was on the mission field, I was doing it right. I have four amazing children and walking with the Lord. And in that process, um I really started to have some breakdown where I started to really begin to just rely a lot heavily on the voice of the Lord based on what I was doing. Like if I read my Bible and prayed, if I if I did it all XYZ, God would speak and He'd make Himself clear. And it was in my mid-30s that the Lord went silent for a time period. We were on the mission field, and I literally felt like I was about to lose my mind because he wasn't responding like I thought he would. And so in that season, I realized there were some major cracks in my foundation and my faith. So while I was a believer, I knew Jesus was God's son, I did not have the revelation of the John 17, where it's this is what it is to know him. You know, it's this um intimate journey of knowing God, not based on who I am, but based on who he is, right? And so a lot of my Christianity was performance-based. And then um God began to really address that with me. And in that season, I got desperate to know God. Um, and so it kind of had a crisis of faith, and in that time frame, um, the Lord spoke to me and just said, Hey, I don't love you because you love me. I love you because I'm love. And I don't speak to you because you seek me. I speak to you because I love to talk with you, I love to be with you in a secret place. And it really just broke me because here I had spent years thinking God was so impressed with me. And I just didn't really, really know him out of his love for me. I knew it out of my my performance. So in that time, at that moment, I sat down with the Lord and I just said, Okay, I don't really know you. I know that you are a healer, but I've never needed you to heal me. I know that you are a provider. I've never really kind of needed you to provide. I know that ultimately provision's coming from you, but we were doing fine financially. I was just like, um, I know that you're a protector. I've never had to really see it firsthand. I just really started saying I surrendered. And I just said, hey, come in, Jesus. Like it was almost like a rebirth experience for me, where I was just inviting him in to know him who he was, not based on my um understanding of who I thought he was, right? And so I wanted experiential knowledge at that point. I was desperate. I was like, okay, it's not enough for me anymore. I'm on the mission field, I don't even like these people. Like, how in the world do you love them?

unknown 5:45

You know?

SPEAKER_01 5:46

It's just like it was rough. And I was, I just got honest and desperate. And Jesus showed up and he started revealing himself to me as who he is.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Yeah. Yeah, so jet poured a little bit. So tell us your journey of really starting to come into an understanding of healing and deliverance, because this is a wild story.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Yeah. So it was about a year and a half later. Jesus, I at that point, I just kind of like put all my works aside and just said, wake me up and call me, woo me, Holy Spirit. I give you permission. You're God, reveal yourself to me. Um, takes God to know God, and I obviously don't know you. So it's about a year and a half later on the mission field, we had moved to another country, and I started having um the Lord had been waking me up in the night. We were just doing the garden walk. It was really beautiful, and I started having this pain in my chest that um I couldn't uh breathe very well. I'd go on walks with the kids, and I'm just really shortness of breath and kind of some sharp pains. And so I went in and had a um um uh EKG and then they did a stress test, and I failed the stress test in that country. So they sent me back to America and I came back home with my husband and um couldn't even walk across like a Walmart. Like I was I was in a lot of pain. But at the same time, I'm also experiencing the the nearness of Jesus and just loving his who he is for me in this place and and wanting to know I've welcomed him to be whoever he wants to be. So I'm not thinking a whole lot about it. And then um we go to the hospital that the we got in town like on a Thursday, on a Friday, the doctor said, I really think you just need to go in and get this checked because I was having pain down my arms. And so we went to the hospital and um they did a what was called basically they went in through um up in to do just like a heart, uh, take pictures of my heart, see where it was. And um, when they did that, um they found that my heart was completely healthy. There's nothing wrong with me. But when they pulled it out, um, they sandbagged me. And within 24 hours, I had a blood clot in that area. And um I had I had been released from the hospital, was on my way home, had a blood clot. And um prior to the blood clot, the doctors were like, her heart is great. Told my husband, go on back overseas. He went back to um where we were living, and I was here in Tulsa then for um about seven weeks in a medical crisis because I then not only had a blood clot, but I got a pseudoaneurism. And so a pseudoaneurism is where you need to thicken the blood and put pressure to close it, but the blood clot is where you need to thin the blood. So I was then in a little bit of a medical crisis and um put into the hospital, was there in ICU for quite a while. It was a beautiful time. Um Jesus just really met me there. And at this at this point in the very beginning, um, a friend of ours came up and prayed for me, and he just said, you know, I feel like the Lord's telling me um this is gonna be a long trial, but it's not gonna take you out. Like it's not, it's you'll you'll live through it, basically. And I was like, okay, great. And then one night while I was in the hospital, I just heard the Lord so clearly say to me, Hey, you're gonna live long on the earth and be fruitful in your old age. And I was just like, whoa, it just like that word, you know, the manna word of God, it just set on me in that moment. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna live long on the earth. I'm gonna be fruitful in my old age. And that was at the very beginning of this seven-year journey, but it was my prophetic promise. You know, we start any trial from victory when we hear the voice of the Lord over our circumstance. That's our anchor. And for me in that moment, because I didn't know Jesus as healer, I needed to know the revelation of what it is to be healed by him and known by him in that place. He met me so clearly, and his first thing was the spoken word. So that was the first time out of the seven years where I almost where I could have died from a medical mishap. There were three of those in my in my health journey. But in that particular one, what ended up happening was um few a few days later, the doctors, there were doctors called from all over the US. There were several, they were specialists were calling in because if they didn't close up the pseudoaneurism, I couldn't walk. But if they did close up the pseudoaneurism, then they'd have to take me off blood thinners. And we all know that a blood clot could lead to death. And so the doctors were just in this state of what do we do? We don't know what to do. They were calling specialists at NIH and all throughout, and there ended up being about 10 doctors that were um seriously looking at my case, trying to figure out what to do. By this time, I've been in ICU for a week, maybe two at this point.

SPEAKER_06 11:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

And um, my husband and I were he was overseas, and I'm in Tulsa. And um, so I am just walking through this journey with Jesus in the middle of the night. Nurses are coming in, we're having church. Like, Jesus is in the room, like it is a beautiful experience, and I'm loving it. And the doctor at that point, he's like, I will quit my practice if you die. Like, this is a serious, this should not have happened to you. You know, you're 37 years old, you have four kids, this should have never happened. And um, so I was like, it's okay. I'm gonna live long on the earth and be fruitful my old age. It became my mantra, really. I just began to tell everybody, this is what God has said over my life. So I'm not worried. I'm not gonna die from this. I kept telling them, I'm not gonna die from this. So basically, the doctors, after a um a discussion amongst themselves, came back and said, We we really don't know what to do. We're we're really just stumped here. And I said, Okay, here's a good idea. How about I said, why don't tonight, um, my husband, it's daytime for him, it'll be nighttime for me. We'll pray through the night, he'll pray through the day, we'll find out what the Lord has to say, and then tomorrow we'll give you what we believe you should do for my health. And the doctor was just like, What? It's just kind of like taken back. And I was like, Yeah, I know I'm living long on the earth. I know I'm gonna be fruitful in my old age. So God's got a plan. How about we bring this to you tomorrow? So sure enough, 24 hours later, my husband and I wake up. I wake up, I go through the night, he's been awake and we talk. And I said, Here's what I'm hearing. I said, I'm hearing close the pseudoaneurism, take me off blood thinners and close the pseudoaneurism. And he said, I'm hearing the same thing, and I got five days. So I'm like, all right. So the doctor comes back in. Yeah, we're excited. We got a plan. He comes back in. He was supposed to go on vacation with his family. He was so distraught. He's like, I don't, I don't know. And I said, Here's what you're supposed to do. Why don't you take five days, take me off blood thinners, close that pseudo aneurysm, and and then start me back on the blood thinners. And he's like, I don't think I can do it. And so I said, Here's the deal. I was like, I am going to, I'll sign whatever you give me right now to release you for my life. I know I'm living on the earth for a long time. So I'm taking all the burden of responsibility off of you right now. Please just do this. So he went and called the other doctors, came back and said, five said yes, do it. Five said no. So I said, so the verdict is do it. This is what the yeah I'm asking. So they did it. Um, took the five off, then five days later put me back on blood thinners, and it was it worked. It worked, it was beautiful. So um at that point, they couldn't figure out what was going on with me because it really wasn't something with my heart. And um, so they said it's fine, go back overseas. We don't know what's going on with you. It looks like there's something on your lung, like a cyst is growing on the lining of your lung, but we're gonna leave it for right now. So they left it. Next year, I come home during the summer and they decide to go ahead and do a thorough synthesis of this cyst that's growing on my lung, and according to them. So they go in, they they remove basically in that time, they got like a little like a few centimeters away from puncturing my heart. And I was laying on the table, and I just remember laying there going, Jesus, Jesus. And the whole time, like you know, when you're walking through a chronic health problem and you know God can just speak the word, yeah, and you're healed. Yep, but he he opts not to. That means that in that moment, there's something far greater that God is trying to release in the revelation of who he wants to be for you in that moment than just speaking the word and and healing you, you know. And for me, this trial, I would never take back the seven years because through the process, I just began to to know him. One of the times he said, Listen, when I saved you, I did not save you just from hell, I saved you from your inability to make these decisions that are beyond your scope of knowledge. Like I wasn't a doctor, I didn't know how to fix myself. I just knew that there were things wrong with me. And God was just releasing his wisdom all along the way and showing, I've got it, I've got it. And for me, the promise that I was living long on the earth put me in those places where I'm laying there and they're coming up through my chest cavity to remove something, almost puncturing my heart. They find out that it's just water in this cyst. And my my pulmonologist at the time, then they had sent me to pulmonologist. He's like, Okay, you're like an alien. I don't know what's going on with you. I'm just, I we're just gonna leave this alone. We're just gonna let this happen and you know, see how you are in another year or two. So every six months to a year, I'd come back to the States and we'd go back and we'd check it. And over time, this is growing, this is growing. And um what's happening is it's getting so large, it's kind of laying whenever they're doing a CT scan or whatever, it's just laying on top of my lung. And so I get to the place where we're now six years in, we're overseas, um, and on a new assignment, and I'm getting to where I can't even bend over and do laundry in anymore. Like the weight of this is just like really, really um causing a lot of strain on me physically. And so the doctors tell us we come back in May, and they're like, you know what? I don't think you can go back overseas anymore. I think you're gonna need to stay here till we can get this figured out. And so this particular doctor decides. Um, well, actually, I'm sorry, I need to back up. The the year before this, we moved back here. This particular doctor, my pulmonologist, decides he's gonna do a thoracentesis of this again. And um I am with the Lord one day. He's he woke me up and called me into the secret place, and I'm sitting with him, and he says, Hey, he's like, this thoracentesis, the enemy's gonna try to take you out with this one. So I really want you to call five people, ask them to be praying. And um, I really just want you to know this. This was like on a Thursday, so I am like, okay, but I know I'm not gonna die. Uh I'm hoping that maybe I get like a near-death experience where I get to just at least see Jesus face to face. I'm like, whoa, because I know I'm living long on the earth, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

So I go, I call my pulmonologist and I said, hey, I was like, and they're used to me at this point. I'm like, listen, I was like, I was just with the Lord, and he he told me that this is not, this is something the enemy's gonna try to take me out with. Would you be willing to do it with a ultrasound? Take this thoracentesis with an ultrasound. He's like, Jackie, I've done these thousands of them. He's in his 60s, he's like, I've done thousands of them. He's like, I can just tap, I can hear. He's like, you're gonna be fine. I'm like, all right. And then on Monday, so I'm going in on Tuesday for this. On Monday, I call my primary care physician. I'm like, hey, listen, I'm just telling you, I know something's not gonna go right tomorrow. And I'm just saying, if you guys would just use an um ultrasound, and he's like, oh, Jackie, you're gonna be fine. Don't worry about it. I mean, I'm like six years into this thing, I've been picked and prodded so many times, I'm not worried about a needle. I really have heard from the Lord. So, so I go in the next day, of course, he goes in and does the thoracentesis, nothing, doesn't get anything. So he's like, hmm, he goes a second time, and the second time he punctures the lung. And so, what they didn't realize at the time, he when he pulls the needle out, that the internal lining of the lung, the hole stayed open, but the external lining of the lung, it closed. And so all the air from my lung went into the lining of my lung. And so, and what they also didn't know was that I had a cyst, but it was a pericardial cyst, which is a cyst on your heart. We wouldn't find this out for a year and a half later, but it was the size of a grapefruit full of water, and so it along with the air in the lining of my lung, pushed my heart across my chest by 90%. So um, I am laying there, you know. I can't sit up because we have punctured the lung now. And when it happened, I was like, I knew it. So we go, they they put me in this room, and they're like, it takes about two hours for your lung to fill back up. They're like, why don't you just um sit here? My husband was there. We were waiting for the lung to refill. Two hours goes by. No, I still can't even sit up straight. Like my head is like, I am down because I can't lift because the weight. And so um they're like, we think we need an x-ray. So they go do an x-ray. After they do the x-ray, I'm barely able to stand. The pain is significant. And we're sitting back in the waiting room, and all of a sudden, you know, when you walk with Jesus and he's so close, all of a sudden there's just this lift of peace. And I told my husband, I said, Something has just shifted. Um, the peace is lifted, and something is seriously wrong with me. And right about then, this nurse walks by the room and she looks at me and she's like, Are you the same woman that was here this morning? And I was like, Yeah. And she goes, Something's wrong. And she codes nine doctors come running, they stick me on a gurney, they take me into the room where you do the CT scan. And I am like, they're telling my husband, she could die at any time. We just got the X-ray, she's about to go into cardiac arrest, and I'm laying there. I am so excited because I'm thinking, no, I know I'm living long on the earth and gonna be fruitful my old age. By this time, this is the this is the truth of my story. Sure, I'm living from that point backwards. So I'm sitting there and I'm like, but maybe I get to go and see him and then I'll come back. So I'm laying there, I am in so much peace. And they're like, why isn't her heart rate? Like, my heart rate should have been shooting through the room. Pulse rate, yeah. My pulse rate should have been. I was like, and I am laying there in such peace in the presence of the Lord, and I'm feeling like right before you pass away, and now I really know this because I've been with some people before, and the Lord's walked me through and helped me help people cross over, but right before, like you feel this love of God, it is so tangible. It's so it just the love of God for a believer just pulls you out of your body when it's time. It's like it's literally love comes for you, yeah. And love is on the other side of all of our story, awaiting with such anticipation, just like us, to let us behold him face to face, right? And so I'm laying there and they're like, What is wrong with her? Why isn't she, you know, losing it right now? And um, I'm just sitting there and I feel this love, and I'm about to be pulled out of my body, and they take this chest tube and they just and I go straight into me, puts all the all the air back into my lung, brings my heart back into alignment, and I'm sitting there going, Oh man, I was really honestly disappointed. In fact, my kids laughed at me later. They're like, Mom, really. So um, back to ICU. Um, and I don't know how all that works with theology. The Lord told me ahead of time something was gonna happen. It did. Um, ended up the hospital didn't charge me for that one, nor the doctor. That was a big medical mishap.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

But yeah, but so we're in ICU. They still don't know what to do with it. My pulmonologist still thinks it's in my lungs. They have no idea that it's wrapped around one of the veins of my heart. And we get a call from an organization that we had been waiting to hear from, and they're like, hey, we need somebody in Vietnam in a couple weeks. Would you guys be willing to go? And my husband's looking at me. I'm like, yeah, Jesus is asking, let's go. So doctor comes back in. I'm like, hey, listen, we have a job opportunity in Vietnam. Any way we could take that? And he's like, Yeah, go ahead. I I honestly don't know what's wrong with you. Like, I'm not, I'm not sure what's going on here.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

So we go, that's that's year six. We go to Vietnam, and why we're in Vietnam, I'm getting significantly worse. Like to the point I can't bend over to do laundry, that kind of thing. And um, so the doctors the following May ground me and say, no, we're not doing overseas anymore. We've got to figure this out. Like, there's got to be um at the same time, we were parallel walking a financial crisis where my husband had lost his job. And so we were in just like in both sides, just like watching Jesus show up in miraculous ways. And um, so by the end of so May, we come home, takes the summer to figure out what's wrong with me. They send me to some specialists in another state, and there's five of them that look at my charts, and they're the ones that walked me through and said, Did you realize you almost died here? Did you realize you almost died here? And then here. So, in all three of those circumstances, they're like, We can't even believe you're letting a doctor look at you. And uh they ended up telling me what it was. It was a perical cyst, it was the size of a grapefruit, and they said, You're gonna have to go to a surgeon, and this is gonna have to be removed like open heart surgery. Like at this point, it's way too big. Um, way back here, if you would have come to us, we could have easily laparoscopically removed this. So at that point, I'm just asking the Lord, and like, Jesus, like in this seven-year journey, also, I'm seeing like people, blind eyes are open, deaf. I'm seeing supernatural miracles. And I think a lot of times when people are walking through a health crisis, we sometimes like are like, God, why aren't you doing that for me? Sure. Um, you instantly could heal me. But in my situation, because I had so desperately needed to know God in an area that I didn't even realize I needed to know him, I feel like he was inviting me. He is not the God of sickness, but he was inviting me into his full strength and power to know him intimately enough that he can even make decisions beyond my scope of knowledge and give me that revelation to walk through a health crisis. Like for me, that revelation alone has sustained me in so many other areas of my life now. And um, so at that time, I just I was like, Lord, I was like, do we really have to do this open heart surgery? Like, I know you can go in and remove this, this, like that. You can just speak the word and it's gone. Um, and so I had a dream three weeks, two weeks before the um surgery. Actually, I think it was closer to three weeks. I had this dream, and in the dream, I saw myself on the gurney in the surgery, and they were doing it laparoscopically. And so um I saw the nurses, I saw angels, and um so the next day, of course, I call the doctor and I'm like, hey, um, surgeon, you don't know me very well. Remember, I'm in a different state at this point. And and I said, but I said, here's the deal is like, I had a dream, I know this can be done laparoscopically. Would you be willing to try? And he was like, Jackie, he's like, I have never removed one this large. He's like, um, but because of what you've been through in your health crisis, I'm willing to schedule you on an open heart day, open heart surgery day, but I will start laparoscopically. And I was so grateful because you didn't have to do that.

SPEAKER_06 28:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Um, and so show up three weeks later, go in. And as the as I'm laying there get getting ready, I'm like telling all the nurses, now I've seen this in a dream. I'm like, you all need to know. Like, he's gonna be able to do it laparoscopically. There's these very large angels in the room. I'm like talking to him. They really think I'm loopy. They stick me with medication and I'm out. And uh literally two and a half hours later, I come out and they it was completely gone. They removed everything laparoscopically. Um, and he's like, Well, you get to go home today. And uh, I went home, and there I was free after seven years of this massive cyst growing. And for me, in that journey, it was just, I mean, I wouldn't trade it for the world. The Lord met me every single step of the way, every negative report the doctor gave me, I said, Oh, I'm living long on the earth and fruitful. You don't have to worry about me dying. Like they would be like, We can't believe you're overseas. Like, you shouldn't be going and doing this. This could kill you. I was like, don't worry. I mean, because nobody was able to fix it at the time. There just was nobody who could add the answers until the Lord released the answers, and then I was free.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

So there are so many things we could unpack in this because it is quite the story. But I guess I think one of the things that I loved about the story was the fact that he gave you that promise, right? What would you say to someone on on really how to stand on a promise until they come about? Because, right, you've got seven years that you have to walk this out. And I have so many friends that are standing on promises from God right now, but they haven't come to fruition in the natural.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Yeah, I think it starts um from trusting the nature of God in that promise. For me, I really began to realize like his desire for me to be healed was stronger than my desire to be healed. And so when I really connected with the heart of who Jesus was and wanted to be for me in the journey, where the the the trial no longer was defining my story, the sickness wasn't defining my story, the nature of his love and his goodness and and the walk in the garden with him was defining who I was on a daily basis. My eyes were fixed on the prize, um, and I was walking out the victory. So, like I said earlier, like once you get a promise, I feel like so many of us get a promise, and we are like clinging to the promise as if the promise is the answer. The promise isn't the answer. Jesus is the answer. The nearness of God is my good, He is my portion, He is my cup, and I'm walking from the victory of what He already sees in the future, and I'm walking from that place. One day I was on a walk, actually, when I got the report after they couldn't figure it out and we were going overseas, I just asked him, I said, Jesus, how do you see me today? And he said, Healed. And I was like, Oh, that's right. Let's go back. Because I'm all he's already been to the end of the story. If he's given you a promise, he's already been there. So my heart posture is like, how do I walk so closely to him that I live from that place into my circumstance versus from living in a circumstance where I'm desperately needing him to come through on his promise? And the promise becomes my almost like my idol, right? The promise is just my confession. That's where he started, that's where I'm starting. But the reality of the journey of what I'm gonna gain through this trial, trial's producing us gold. Like, why do we want to skip a trial if it's unto something so glorious that we will someday turn around and give him praise for the rest of our life? I want to skip that. So, who does Jesus want to be for me as I'm walking through it that makes this trial so worth it? So the other side of this where the promise is, that's just my I'm literally living in the confession that that's where we started from today. But my goal in this is like, Jesus, what is it that you saw I needed to have in me that required this measure of a trial in order to produce that? That's what I'm after. In the end, the reality of that whole storyline is that God. This is where I love the whole thing of um, oh, death, where is your stink? Right? In the end, how this works out for me is that I will someday die, right? I am gonna live long on the earth and be fruitful. My day is gonna come to end. But honestly, I just cross over into love. Like I don't lose. There's no losing because he's conquered death. So for me, the health trial or any trial, I just want to learn how to do it in such a way that when I see him face to face, I go, Oh, I knew that's exactly what you look like in that moment. I knew that about you. So that when I see him face to face, it's like I experienced what John 17 says. This is eternal life, that you would know him, not on the other side, but on this side, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:35

That's so incredibly good. So, as you're obviously learning that journey, you had mentioned you were also going through a provision journey as well. Can you speak to that a little bit of what you guys were learning through that?

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Yeah, oh man, that was it. We were getting double whammied. And but at the same time, you know, when Jesus is waking you and calling your name and and talking with you, I just opted. I said, if you're God, you reveal God to me. And I opted in that time to check my whole, oh, this is my prayer time. I'm carving out this time, and then Jesus, you get this time, and that's how my day is. So once we made that transition in my, you know, in the beginning of this conversation that we talked about, he calls me. He calls me, he tells me where to meet him. And sometimes it's in the middle of the day, sometimes it's at night, sometimes whatever. So at the same time that I'm walking through this health trial, he had me sitting on the front porch in our house and meeting with him every morning. He'd wake me and go, let's go to the front porch. So we were going to the front porch, and one day, and I'm like, I'm unashamed at this point. I'm like on the front porch, people walking at 6 a.m. I'm my hands are raised, I've got my earphones in. We're going. Jesus and I are just, I'm walking in the garden, right? And um, I'm sitting with him and he says to me, He's like, Open your eyes. And I open my eyes and I see two birds. And I see this one bird. He's getting this worm out, and it's a long worm, and he's enjoying it. And then I see another bird come over to try to take the worm. And the big, the other bird's like, no, you're not having it. And that other bird goes over and he finds a little worm. And this was about six months before our financial trial began. And the Lord said to me, You have lived in such seasons of abundance, but I'm about to wait, take you into a season of dependence. And he started giving me divine instructions for that season. Usually, when I come home in the summer, I buy all the Christmas presents for the next year. We were overseas, I take four kids' worth of curriculum, all their stuff. And the Lord said, This summer we're doing it differently. So he was he was giving me strategy for what was coming. So when it actually happened, six months later, my husband's job ended, and we had been in a very fruitful season. Um, we went three years on our savings with no job. You know, they say have like six months in the bank. Thank the Lord we had more, but the Lord needed to get us to a place of nothing, zero. Um, and it was a beautiful journey, and he took us there. We became extremely dependent on Jesus. And it's exciting when you're dependent, when he has to feed you and he has to pay the bills, you know. Um, for years I had that weight on my shoulders, and my husband did too. And when you're down to 140 bucks in the bank, and Jesus decides I'm ready to take over, and y'all, y'all have done a good job, but it's my turn, um, it starts looking magnificent. And so I'm not sure here if we should go into it, but uh we had a really powerful encounter where at that point the Lord invited us into a dream, and it was a very expensive financial dream that um he wanted to give us a sabbatical year after several years of um working on the field.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

And I would yeah, I would love for you to tell that story of seeing that angel.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

That's what I was gonna ask. Do you want me to go into that?

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Because I'm like, yeah, and then how that, you know, um led to you guys going on that sabbatical Israel.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yeah. So um so basically what ends up happening, we have about $170 in the bank, and um, the Lord's waking me, uh talking to me one morning, and he says, Um, hey, I want you and your husband, Clant is his name. I want you guys to go to Israel. And um, I want him to apply to Jerusalem University College and um and take the kids. And I was like, What? You know, it's like ecstatic. So my husband comes home after many, many days of that that day he had been out um at a particular job interview, didn't get the job interview. We're talking three years after, and so he is very, very discouraged at this point. He has applied at a ton of places. We have a lot of contacts, you know, it's who you know. Nothing, nothing is opening up. And um, this is when you know the Lord's in it. It's like because in all your natural resources and means, you can do nothing. And so again, we are just trusting in his um leadership. And so at this point, I was having like six to eight hours a day just with the Lord on the I had nothing else to do. We didn't have any money, kids were at school, and so I would just sit with the Lord for hours and hours, and and uh so he tells me he wants us to pursue this. So I tell my husband, and my husband just kind of slides down the wall and puts his hands in his head, and he goes, I have no idea how that is gonna happen. And I said, Me neither, but Jesus said that you're supposed to apply, and he said, All right, so we went in. This was actually a dream that he had had in his heart to do Middle Eastern studies, and um, I it was a dream in my heart to live in Israel. So my husband goes, applies, and leaves it. Kind of two weeks later, we are um we'll fast forward two weeks, and I am again having a time with the Lord in the backyard. And this particular day, something really profound happened. I was with the Lord. I don't know how many um hours before the Lord took me into this encounter, but I literally saw myself leave my body just like I just saw myself sitting in my back. I didn't see myself leave my body. I take that back, but I just saw myself just sitting there, but I was above it. And I was and the Lord just took me into this really beautiful, incredible place of his presence. I don't even know how to describe it. All I know is that the father was there, and it was just me and him for a long time. We just were in silence. And at one point, I finally just said to him, I'm in total peace, just enjoying being with him. And I said, Is there something I'm supposed to ask you? And he said, Yeah, I'd like you to ask me for a supernatural encounter for Clint. And I said, Okay. I was like, Could you give me a supernatural encounter for Clint today? And I said today, and he's immediately after I said it, I am like room, right? Just present in my body, just completely present. And I start laughing like I have never laughed before. This joy, this liquid joy just takes over my body, and I am in hysterics. And I look down at my watch and I realize that I am supposed to pick a friend's kids up at school at noon. And so I go in to find my husband, and I'm like, hey, it's 11 o'clock. We got to pick these kids up at noon. Why don't we go and I have a gift card from a friend? Let's go have a uh share a soup and salad. And he's like, No, I'm on a hunger strike. We're not. I just told God I'm not eating till I get a job. This can this something has to shift. And he is in complete just discouragement because he's just tried so hard. And um, so I'm like, okay, so we end up. I said, you're not in a hunger strike, you're not, you're not going without food. We are going, and today you are having a supernatural encounter by God, and he's just looking at me, and I'm like, we're going. So we go have lunch, we drive separately, and we are sitting at this restaurant that um kind of at an L. There's an L, and we're on the outside of that L sitting there, and he's looking, and where he just says to me, He's like, Honey, he's like, I cannot pursue a dream. We are in the middle of a nightmare here. Like, we don't have any more money. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm like, honey, we would love to live a dream. Let's just sell the house, let's just live a dream. Like, and um, so he's looking over my shoulder as we're talking about this, and he said, That's why I haven't pursued going to Israel. And as he looks over my shoulder, this woman starts walking towards him, and she's got long gray hair all the way down below her bottom, and she's wearing a black t-shirt that says Israel in neon letters, and she is walking straight towards him. And I'm looking at his face, I have no idea, but the fear of God just comes over my husband. I've never seen him like this before. And he's like, Uh, I think I need to go and call J E C. I think we're supposed to do this. He's just stumbling, he's like, I think you should look, but I don't think you should look. Like, I I don't know. I don't know, Jackie. He's just like on and on and on, just stumbling. And she walks right up to our table and goes right into the to the restaurant, and uh I start the laughing like I just had in the backyard. And when that laughter comes over to me, I cannot, I cannot stop. I mean, I hate to tell you. But I didn't pee my pants. I was laughing so hard. I could not, I couldn't contain it. It was just like God was on it. So we're both kind of just like, what just happened here? And he's like, okay, I'm leaving. I'm going to call our pastor and tell him I think I'm supposed to pursue this. I'm going to call the university. I'm going to go. And so he he takes our stuff and we're walking to the car while I look like a crazy drunk person laughing and yeah, little bit problems. And so we get around and we go around the other side of the L. We're parked in separate cars. And I he opens my car door. I get in mine, and I'm now looking at him, at his face, and the building is behind him. And I said, and I was like, oh, honey, look, she's coming out. And he's like, what? I was like, she's coming out of the building. And she's walking out. He's like, I can't look. I just can't look. I think it's an angel. I'm not sure. I can't look. I'm like, yes, of course, you've got to look. And he and I both are watching her. And I'm kind of making fun of him because he's really like overwhelmed at this point. And she walks right into the parking lot and disappears in front of us. Like literally just gone. Like we're staring at her and she's no longer there. And we both at that point go into shock. I'm like, don't you tell a soul what we just saw? It's like, I'm not telling anybody. I'm like, me neither. Like, we are literally trembling the whole rest of the day because we're just like something just happened that should not have happened. And and we also know at this point we're leaving and we have $170 in the bank.

SPEAKER_02 46:01

And so that we sound like me right now. I'm like, oh, oh yeah, tomorrow. I hope I can pay tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 46:09

It's gotta happen. Yeah. Jesus, show up. And so um, I we end up that night. He goes, he goes and makes some phone calls, finds out there's a scholarship there. I start working on the house because I'm thinking, oh my goodness, we gotta sell this house. And um, a week later, we are at an event, and at the event we see some friends we hadn't seen in years, and they walk up and they're like, Hey, tell us what's going on. And by this time, we've already told the kids. We're like, hey, by the way, we're going to Israel. We have a senior in high school and then a junior, a 10th grader, an eighth grader, and a sixth grader. And they're all like, Okay, great. So um we have no money, but we're going. And so the next week, when we're at this event, this individual, this couple says, Hey, what's going on with you? And we both look at each other. For some reason, we just decide to tell them, like, we hadn't told anybody. And we're like, Well, and so when we get to the part about living a dream, the husband just literally about falls over. He's like, You said that? I was like, Yeah, we've been living a nightmare. Let's live a dream. And um, so we said, So we're selling our house and we're moving. Jesus is asking us to go. And uh he said, Oh, no, no, no, no, don't sell your house. He's like, No, you you need to rent your house. And I was like, I understand, but we have no money to even get there. Like, you don't understand. We are really, really no money. And uh he said, Well, how much is it gonna cost? And I said, With with the schooling and all of this, it's gonna be about $28,000. He goes, Oh, I'll write you a check right now. And literally writes us a check on the spot and covers, and at that point, we're just both like, What? And uh literally we put our house on the market, we do a sabbatical year, we go with no money except what he paid for the schooling and the airfare to get us. And we watched Jesus supernaturally provide for us, never asking for a dime. The Lord just showing up, and and it was that way. Again, we still had another three years of that intense financial trial. But when you walk with the Lord and He gives you a promise, again, it's like I've never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread. In fact, right after he lost his job, I ordered the next round of checks, and that was on the checks where I would sign my name every single day. I was like, this is my story. My children will not beg for bed, bread. I am I am the righteous, and he will meet all my needs according to his riches. And we watched him take care of us supernaturally for years, and then the Lord eventually provided him a great job, and you know, we're back in a season like Paul. I know what it is to have a lot and to have little. So it is just beautiful, and we had the best year in Israel. Our children served in the house of prayer. God met us in so many ways, and uh, you know, when he lets you live a dream on his bank account, it's like nothing, nothing you've ever experienced before.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

So I think we all need to live a dream on his bank.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

Yeah, it's a it's a gift, it's a gift. So when he puts a promise and he calls you to step into it, he's got the provision. It's his job. He wants to be the one that provides, he wants to be the caretaker. And uh, and he takes great great pleasure when we actually allow him to take that role and be in that position. And don't try our plan B's and figuring it out on our own. Just let, just wait. Over this time, he's bought me three cars just by waiting on him. Like I just wait when the car breaks down. I'm like, Jesus, you know, I need wheels, make it happen. And every time he just like shows up and and and does it. It and sometimes it's as something he's asking me to do, and then other times he just does it, you know, it's just beautiful. But he's my provider, he's our provider now. My husband had to get over the role and let Jesus be the one, and it's been beautiful, it's been a sweet treat. We don't worry about money.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

So that's your faith in this area is is is mind-blowing, and something that like when I left that conversation that we had, I sat there and I was like, gosh, I need to have that kind of faith. Like, that is just it's incredible. So I know that you work with a lot of people, and you know, you do a lot of wonderful things in the community and such. But how would you encourage someone to walk towards healing and deliverance if they really aren't aware of this in their life?

SPEAKER_01 50:50

Well, I think a lot of people don't realize so much of where they are bound is in their judgments against God's nature. And so oftentimes, like they may even just judge God and say, You don't speak to me. You speak to Jackie, but you don't talk to me. That's a judgment. It's a judgment against God's willingness or desire to speak to you. And so oftentimes I just encourage people to sit with the Lord and go, hey, are there some beliefs or some judgments I've made against you out of my limited understanding? When I have looked at a circumstance, I have judged you unrightly, you know, misjudged you, and therefore have determined that you do or do not do XYZ. Um, a lot of times when I'm working with people, the one of the biggest judgments is that, yeah, he's good, but he's not good all the time. Look what happened in my life. And I'm like, well, you're making that from the lens that you have. Have you actually stepped back and surrendered your lens to him and asked him, Jesus, how did you see this situation? And what is goodness to you? What does that look like to you? So my biggest encouragement is start with where have I judged the Lord? Repent and invite him to give you a new perspective about his nature and something. That's that's where I see a lot of people set free.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

That's really, really good. So if you could encourage someone to chase after Jesus and pursue redemption, what would you say?

SPEAKER_01 52:28

Wow, I would just say let him let him wow you, like invite him. He's God. Like it takes God to reveal God. And I think, especially in our Western mindset, we really think that so much of our Christian faith is up to us. And really, he wants to reveal who he is to you. And so I would encourage people like, I mean, just look at Revelation 1, verses 13 through 16. There's eight different facets of what Jesus looks like. And you, I could spend the rest of my life on earth going, what? Your eyes are like fire? What does that look like? You know, just like beholding the beauty and allowing your heart to be wowed by this God who decided to become a baby and submit himself to that which he created for you. He did that for us. Like, if we just could get just to a place where we would let him wow us, I mean, that's what's transformed my heart the most is letting Jesus be who he is and me beholding him. Like it's beautiful. And he's from Genesis to Revelation, and so I would say invite him, offer him the opportunity. If you are that fabulous and that great, Jesus, I invite you to reveal yourself to me like that. And he will, I guarantee you, he will. He did it for me. If he can do it for me, he'll do it for anybody else.

SPEAKER_02 54:08

Amen. Well, Jackie, thank you so much for coming on today. It was just a true pleasure.